That Big Question

Boys forget that girls get really scared by marriage too; girls forget that girls are scared. Where boys are scared that they have to provide for someone else and be with someone constantly and mesh their life with someone else's, girls get freaked out that they will have to be the emotional rock and that they are giving up any and all personal freedoms for the rest of their lives to their husband and his children.
I'm not going to lie--I'm terrified of it. On the flip-side, I know it's going to be hard and I know what I'm capable of: loving unconditionally. This quality means that no matter what, I love until there is no love left to give, and we all know love is endless. With that I know that come what may, I will love every moment of it and I will make it the best years of my life.
This post isn't to drop any hints or anything. No mom I'm not getting hitched and Ben, I'm not trying to press it or anything :) I'm posting this because I think it's important for me to know this about myself. This is something that I have been trying to figure out for myself and what I feel about it because, after all, eventually and sooner-than-later I'll need to know! I know this: bring it and I'll conquer it and it will be amazing.

Three Important Things

First things first -- two men both just held the elevator door for me; that's how special I am!

Second -- I'm pregnant...as far as parking is concerned at work. There wasn't any other available parking in the lot when I got here today so I was stuck parking in the expectant mother space. When I get caught I can't decide what to do; 1. Get crazy emotional and freak out on the person or 2. Just say I'm expecting to be a mother one day and that I guess I read the sign wrong.

Third -- and I can not believe I'm about to devote such precious space to this topic, but I must. Taylor Swift. Oh how I'm so irritated and tired of your droning on about boys and heartache and revenge via the sound waves! This girl has got issues! I've been through plenty of heart-break; maybe I should become a singer/songwriter and make millions too. Let me be honest. I was a huge Taylor fan before she was big. Junior year of high school I told tons of people about her and how great her songs were. Then her second album came out. It was the same old thing but tons more people listening. Next comes my ex-roommate, Tabitha, who grossly overplayed the poor girl's songs into a pulp! Now she's the ex-girlfriend of the teen wolf superstar, Jacob, and acting in movies and singing the same old tune. What brought about this post full of angst? That would be: as I drove through downtown a few minutes ago her song was yet again the most requested song of the hour and as I turned the station in frustration I noticed the dude, DUDE, in the car next to me singing along. Taylor, you make me sick!

Old Bird Never Talk Again

I'm in a Spanish Class. I chose to take it because it fir one of my requirements and I also thought it would be cool to understand what Ben's saying all he time without asking him to retell it to me in English. Since I only have class one night a week, it makes it hard to have what I learn stick. I had my first test yesterday and it wasn't too bad, but I find myself getting frustrated with myself because I'm not learning it as quickly as I do everything else. When I took Latin in high school, my teacher took pitty on me for the three years and just let me do a bunch of cultural projects and mythology geared activities because she didn't want me to fail and I totally wasn't getting he language. I am so worried that that is what will happen with this class, which in turn stresses me out even more! So I decided to have a heart to heart with my Professor, Senor Flores, after class and told him how I feel slow and that I'm not grasping the language yet. He reminded me that it was only our second class and that it takes 7 years, 5 days a week for at least an hour, to be fluent in a language. Then he told me that the Spanish have a saying, "Old bird never talk again." It means, that once you've learned to talk its hard to learn talking any other way. You're already used to what you have. So I'm just hoping that I'm not an old bird yet, and that I can still get this. Its weird how my elective is going to be the class that I put the most effort in to pass. Biology, no problem. Paralegal Studies, sinch. Greek and Roman Humanities, I laugh at it. Spanish, Ay, caramba!

This is the bird or snype, named Kevin, from the movie "Up!" When my Professor told me that saying, the facial expression this bird makes most of the movie is what I felt like. He's always awkward, and has big bulgy eyes. I'm sure if you were my Spanish Professor, this would be the face you see me making most of class!

Cookie Cousins

I had to do a run today to a gourmet cookie shop in College Park. I've always wanted to go in there and I was so excited that I actually was bit exceeded my expectations. A whole shop devoted to the cutest cookies I had ever seen wasn't enough- nope, I had to make sure that these cookies actually were delicious too. You know how fondant cakes look amazing, but almost always taste horrible? I was so worried that these precious cookies would be the same. They were delicious! I grabbed a cute baby footprint one that was blue for my co-worker who is having a baby boy named Benjamin and I got the cutest fish for myself. We were so torn over wether or not we should eat them so we took pictures first.

Also I just downloaded an app on my iTouch so I can blog anywhere. I did this because I got to school early tonight and instead of studying for my Spanish test I am now blogging! Yeah for procrastination! Wish me luck on this test and if your ever in College Park hit up Cookie Cousins- totally worth it!

Spider Mania

I want you to imagine with me a creature. This creature has multiple legs that are quite long; probably as long as your fingers are. Now imagine this said creature having bright colors all over their torso. As you look closely to this creature you notice it's weaving a golden web thats big enough for a human to lie in. Then you notice that there is a fly stuck on this web and this creature is slowly dragging the fly towards it. You get freaked out so you start to walk away. Then you see another one! Don't look up! Oh no! They're everywhere!!!! What you are seeing are hundreds of Banana Spiders!

I hate Spiders, even the tiniest little insty-wentsy ones. Ben's co-worker invited us to their New Symrna condo and it was awesome, until she asked me if I had seen the spiders everywhere and then pointed one out to me. After that I couldn't not see and they were everywhere! I couldn't walk, I was so frozen with fear. Other than the insane amount of massive spiders I really enjoyed my time away with Ben. We got breakfast at a Mom's cooking joint and studied at the pool and chilled on the beach. Minus the spiders, I'd totally recommend it.

Two months ago I finally got my Visiting Teaching assignments and today in Relief Society we had a lesson on VT. It's something I've always liked and it was never hard for me to do. Well during the lesson the teacher asked us to share stories of how visiting teaching has impacted us and one of the girls I teach shared that her visiting teacher makes her feel loved and that she's worth something. She loves that someone actually cares about whats going on in her life and that she's happier since she started being taught. That is the greatest blessing to me; getting to know that I am doing what the Lord has asked me to do and that I truly do impact these women's lives. Did I mention that I love visiting teaching?

Also, I've been rewatching Gilmore Girls on DVD as I study and get ready and I stumbled upon what my wedding is really going to be like. Please enjoy :)

Apple of My Eye

April Bushman + Me + an Apple = well just look at the evidence.

The Panhadle

Ben and I both got a couple of days off a few weeks ago and went to meet my parents and my sister Amber up at my grandparent's condo in Panama City. I didn't think I was going to be able to go at first, but we were and I was so glad. After a fun road trip with a stop in Tallahassee for some food at Mr. Roboto's (yum yum yum) we finally got to PCB and had some great relaxing at the beach. There was Japanese food, Bricca (sp?), and go-carts. The last night we were there Ben took Amber and I to Waffle House. Amber had never been there before and I had a late night craving for it so it was totally the perfect time. Ben even took the Jeep doors off and we went off-roading, which totally freaked Amber out! Then I took over the driving. Bad idea. I ended up hitting a seagull that totally kamikazed into the front of the Jeep, and well, with no doors on the car, lets just say a couple of feathers tickled my legs! Sorry Mr. Seagull! Basically I loved getting to spend quality time with Ben and my family. On the way home, we stopped back in Tallahassee for church and I got to see some of my favorite people. I hadn't been back to Tallahassee since I moved so I was so excited and I think Ben might have thought I was crazy, but I just missed it sooo much! It was hard to leave, but nevertheless I was so happy to get to be there.